Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
