I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
