"it" just moved
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
