Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
