I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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