if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
