"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
