Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
