Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
