I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
