She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
