with your own penis?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
