Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
