Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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