You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
