i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it because I queefed?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
