i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Enjoy the penises
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
