Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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