Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
