I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize