I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
