Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize