oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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