so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
