Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
