But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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