remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
