I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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