he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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