I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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