Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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