You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
