I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
