I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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