i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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