I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
