So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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