I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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