ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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