Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
