Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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