Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
