This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you win again, gameday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
