Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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