Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
