Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
