he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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