my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
