I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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