stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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