I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she peed on how many people?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize