This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
