Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
