I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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