hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
