I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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