life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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