And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
