bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
